It's been awhile since my last post and I have no excuses. I have been trying to upload another short video, but I've been experiencing some problems with it.
Lately the situation in t,1b3t has escalated to the point that we are no longer allowed to travel there. Part of the reason for the activity has been due to the upcoming Olympic Games. If you want to get a sense of how Ch1n4 feels about the situation you can check out the following link: http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2008-03/17/content_6540366.htm
Today I missed my classes because I have been experiencing more nausea and diarrhea. I sat around my house and seriously pondered coming home for the second time since I have been in Ch1n4.
I feel that most of my blogs have maintained a positive note about everything, but living here has often been very difficult. It's hard to explain all of the factors involved; sometimes I miss home so much that it hurts.
I'm not talking about the occasional pang for home, but the deep, continuous sadness about being away (which is only increased when I feel less than useful here). In any case it has forced me to think again about why I am here in the first place, and it has helped me to consider things under a light of complete honesty. I have had to strip down detached idealism, throw away the perfectly crafted reasons for coming. I didn't expect to rethink my actions and motives with such drastic revision.
I need to go to bed now. I need the sleep. My 3rd candle is about to burn out and, although I still have the light of my computer screen, writing in the dark is just not the same.