Poisonous Banana?

The voting dash-bar has become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Indeed, if you replace the word 'banana' with 'beans' and 'did not get sick' with 'got sick' then it has...

What can I say? I was rooting around near the floor of my larder when to my surprise I found some dry white beans. Immediately several ideas ran through my head, but instead of waiting until the next day for a beanstalk to grow next to my apartment, I soaked them in a pan immediately.

24 hours later the beans were being cooked and 5 hours after that I was waking up in the middle of the night wondering what was living in my stomach and why they were already stringing Christmas lights across its lining.

Who knows what step in the process this was... Perhaps the fact that I did not adequately wash the beans, or that they were poorly soaked (although 24 hours, the water level was low by the end), or the fact that I have no idea how old they were: The possibility is up to 4 years, but I'm assuming between 6-12 months.

More justification for going out to eat!